HOW TO ASK FOR HELP AND GET IT.

Note, this is not a piece about psychological manipulation or lies but more about self-awareness and change.  
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of self-awareness. But the first and most essential step is sincerity with yourself. Many people want help, but not everyone truly needs it. Some seek assistance from a place of entitlement rather than genuine effort. Help is most effective when it meets a real need — when the person asking has tried, exhausted their options, or requires support to reach a meaningful goal. Key words "meaningful goal" not peripheral wants and desires. Before approaching anyone, you must ask yourself: Have I truly done my part? Honest self-assessment prevents entitlement and reveals alternatives you may not have considered. Often, once you evaluate your efforts clearly, you discover there are still moves you can make before depending on others.

Next, consider who you are asking for help. We often assume some people can help simply because of how we imagine their lives to be, but our perceptions can be wrong. Surprisingly, the most helpful people are sometimes the ones we least expect. Never look down on small assistance; help is help. And often, people give freely when they see sincerity, consistency, and effort — not dependence. The manner of your request determines a lot. Tone, body language, and intention matter. A request coated with entitlement, inevitability, or laziness repels people. When someone senses you expect them to carry your life for you, they naturally pull back. No one wants to support someone who refuses to move on their own. But humility, clarity, gratitude, and respect open doors. Offer something of value — no matter how small — before you ask. It signals partnership, not parasitism (this has worked for me, first hand). 
Another key element is avoiding self-pity. Self-pity is a dangerous barrier to receiving help because it blinds you to your own capabilities, distorts your expectations, and creates resentment when help doesn’t arrive. It traps you emotionally and spiritually. Whether you are asking God or humans, self-pity weakens your posture and your perception. Approach with honesty, not desperation; with humility, not helplessness. This leads to the deeper dimension: like asking God for help. Prayer is not a hurried mumbled plea; it is stepping consciously into God's presence and allowing clarity to come. When prayer becomes reflection instead of panic, answers begin to reveal themselves — sometimes during the prayer, sometimes after. Prayer trains your spirit to ask humans properly as well, because it reshapes your mindset from entitlement to gratitude and awareness. The Lord’s Prayer itself is a blueprint for alignment, humility, and clarity before asking.

Finally, remember that people who help you are not gods. They are human beings with their own struggles, burdens, and limitations. Seeing their humanity shifts your approach — you stop demanding assistance and start cultivating a relationship rooted in mutual respect. Help is ultimately an act of grace. Those who can help are simply blessed with the means or positioned by circumstance to do so. This is why I begin with prayer before asking anything from anyone. If you don’t know how to pray, learn. It will reshape not only how you ask for help, but also how you see yourself, others, and the world.

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