HOW TO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE

I have thought about committing suicide 87 times throughout my lifetime so far. Don't pity me, that was when I didn't understand suffering. Alan Watts said and I quote "Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun." The core idea is that suffering arises from taking life too seriously; liberation comes from a lighter, more playful perspective. That's when you truly become free. How do you not commit suicide then?, one might ask. Walk with me. 

The trick is to live with utter despair without utterly despairing. Life itself is a mystery. You can't understand it, so don't even try. Because why will life for instance, give a person good money but cautions it with sickness. And a poor man is just strong and agile yet no money not because he is lazy or whatever but life just decides to fuck him up. People will betray you. Hurt you. Use you. Not because they intend too but because it's just human nature. Marcus Aurelius said "to expect a wicked man not to do evil, is madness." So you can't go about hating your life because someone else did you wrong. Learn to move on, quickly. 

Another thing you have to learn is to be happy. Always. It's a mindset and not a place you will arrive at. Don't be too rigid. Allow simple things, let little things excite you. Sing in the shower without regarding for tone. Mimick your neighbour voice. Collect your friend's phone and just start running away with it. Laugh as deeply and savagely as possible. Hug a tree. Don't postpone stuffs, especially something you have always intended to do. Spend much time alone and regret it as little as you can. Write a letter to your future self. Think about what it was like in the 1700s and wonder what it would be like in the 3000s. Eat eggs and wonder which chicken laid it. Never cry wolf until it's eating you alive. Care about your neighbors, but with great discretion – this is me also telling you to know when to mind your own business. 

Never make the mistake of believing
it will all come out right but want it to anyway. What you want might never happen but still believe. Never turn the corner without knowing in your heart
there maybe be nothing beyond it
even though you're sure there is. Allow for the pettiness of your fellow man
even as you despise it. Cry as often as possible, and only for over tragic or stupid matters. Smoke pot if you want to, don't mind what the medical man said – nobody knows anything and besides you will still die anyways. Fall in love, I beg you, fall in love. Get your heart broken and tell your pet about it. Adore music, crave beauty, yearn for
it all. Write. Have limits, destroy them, have none, change your mind. Allow a dog chase you and laugh about it afterwards. Read books until you almost feel like losing your mind. That's the gateway to places you will never be and people you will never meet. Dance. Dance like a magician and believe you can command the clouds. Talk to a stranger and ponder on the conversation had. Think a thought, contradict yourself. Give an opinion, go against it.

Never get too excited when reading the paper but never forget that it's all really happening. Know that flowers are gorgeous and the wind can't hurt you. The ocean is perfect and the stars are impossible. Women, though evil, are much better than men. Softer even when you meet the right one and children have more heaven than any sky. Look at the skies and wonder where God is and ask if he even gives a shit about you. Roam. Watch a flower bloom and a butterfly hatch. Know tomorrow is not guarantee but still plan for it anyways. Forgive your father and tell you children to learn to forgive you too. To hate with your heart and yet not quite believe it one must, when crossing at the red keep both eyes open. Open and wide. 

I hope you find a man who doesn't disappoint you, even though I know that's impossible. I hope it helps. 

































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