HOW TO CHOOSE A WIFE

Welcome to February. The first month of the year is gone. If you are still alive and kicking, congratulations. You are a strong one — this year, over 80,000 suicides has been recorded worldwide. The world is fucked. Humans are shitty — the just released Epstein files shows that the world is ruled majorly by assholes. I am digressing too much. This is February, the month of love I believe. So I will share a little something since romance will be the main agenda for some this month. How to choose a wife. You can see that I didn't add "good." It is because I know if she has all the qualities that I'll share, then she is good already — perfect even. This little something is based on framework, core research and learning not just fantasy. God will not choose your wife for you, he can only guide you and these are some important pointers you must look for; 

1. In character and temperament. She must be emotionally regulated under stress. She should disagree with you without disrespecting you. Never addicted to drama or similar extremes. Having a calm nervous system > loud personality. She must be accountable without defensiveness. No public shaming, private correction only. She must show kindness always especially when there is nothing to gain.

2. In values and discipline. Delayed gratification comes naturally. Low impulsivity (money, emotions, decisions). Understands loyalty beyond feelings. Doesn’t outsource validation to strangers — content with herself. Self-respect precedes relationship demands. Keeps boundaries even when unsupervised. 
3. Past relationships and history. Peace is her default setting. Doesn’t define herself by past pain. No outrageous body counts. No obsession with exes, trauma or villain arcs. Reasonable relationship history, not serial entanglements. 
4. Family and imprint. Healthy relationship with her father or has consciously healed it, comes from a family where conflict resolves, not explodes. Women in her family respect her (not compete with her). No repeated pattern of unstable long term relationships. Understands commitment because she’s seen it, not imagined it. 
5. Communication and respect. Speaks clearly without manipulation. Listens to understand, not to win. Doesn’t weaponize silence, tears, or sex. Respects your name, time, and reputation. Conflict is a discussion, not a performance. 
6. Work, purpose and independence.  Has direction (career, craft or calling). Doesn’t view marriage as financial rescue — this is very important especially in a country like Nigeria. Money is discussed maturely, not emotionally. Understands contribution beyond the aesthetics attached to it. Proud to build, not just be provided for. 
7. Social behavior. Respected by other women (not feared, not envied). Kind to service workers when nobody’s watching. Not performative on social media. Attention is enjoyed, not hunted — private life remains private. 
8. Attraction and intimacy. Attraction is mutual, not negotiated. Intimacy feels safe, not transactional. Sex isn’t used as leverage or validation. Affection is consistent, not mood-based. Chemistry + calm, coexist. 
9. Timing and readiness. Chooses you, not pressured or age. Ready for marriage, not escaping loneliness or poverty. Understands sacrifice without resentment. Wants partnership and collaboration, not supervision. Peace increases, not decreases, with proximity. 

And lastly, she must be godly. Not a church goer but a person has the fear of God, who understands the roles of God in her life and the instructions given to her by God in alignment with the vision and mission of her man. 

The summary rule. As a man, please don’t marry potential. Don’t marry intensity, don’t marry history. Women can fake these things. Marry character, stability and peace. Your life will become quieter, not louder. Your decisions clearer, not confusing. Your progress will accelerate, not stall and mutual trust will deepen without constant reassurance. 

Scholars and philosophers said if you marry right, you hit a goldmine. They are not wrong. And I know I have never been married but I see people and I watch them closely. Save this for later, brothers. Buena suerte. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

THE CONSCIOUS PEOPLE

Image
There's a peculiar suffering that comes with awareness, a kind of exile that happens not when you leave the world, but when you begin to truly see it. You sit down to watch a movie everyone loves, and within minutes, you're analyzing the manipulation tactics, the propaganda, the tired formulas. You're at a party, and instead of enjoying the moment, you're observing the social performance, the masks, the desperate need for validation in every conversation. You used to enjoy these things. You remember when a movie was just a movie, when small talk was comfortable, when you could lose yourself in the moment without your mind dissecting every layer of what was really happening. But something changed. You woke up, and now you can't go back to sleep. Today, we're exploring one of the most painful consequences of consciousness, the loss of simple pleasures. This isn't about being cynical or superior. This is about the genuine grief that comes when awareness strips ...
Read more

WORDS CARRY WEIGHT

I believe we all saw the caption "Man proposes but God disposes." Jamb admitted to an error that caused the mass failure for thousands of students in the just concluded examinations. And when they wanted to openly admit it. They still choose to blame God. That's not the purpose of this write — because that itself is another different narrative to talk about on its own. But it actually birth something, something dark and terrible — that I want us to discuss.  A 19 year old girl committed suicide. Why? Because she failed her "Jamb examination." She killed herself — I don't know how because I didn't bother to read it. But she ended it. A few days later the authorities in charge admitted that the cause of the mass failure was an error on their own part pointing that it was God's disposition. The lacklustre statement. The state she wrote the exams being one of the major states affected. A huge slap on that ministry's face by the way. Now, let's ge...
Read more

WHEN MAN ENTERS WOMAN

When man enters woman, it's more that the unification of bodies, it's a commitment enveloped in ecstasy like an agreement between two parties. It's like the surf biting the shore, again and again, and the woman opens her mouth with pleasure and her teeth gleam like the alphabet. Aphrodite appears to be milking Ares, and the man inside of the woman ties a knot so that they will never again be separate and the woman climbs into a flower and swallows its stem and Priapus appears and unleashes their rivers. The man, the woman with their double hunger, have tried to reach the curtain of Heaven and briefly they have, though God in His perversity unties the knot. Nothing is more beautiful than the heated coalition of bodies, the desire of wanting more - he gives while she receives and in this moment of lingering activity nothing else matters. Time is timeless and the universe silent, the perpetrators implode and explode at the same time in multiple succession - orgasm they call it...
Read more