Weird Things

Welcome to February. The first month of the year is gone. If you are still alive and kicking, congratulations. You are a strong one — this year, over 80,000 suicides has been recorded worldwide. The world is fucked. Humans are shitty — the just released Epstein files shows that the world is ruled majorly by assholes. I am digressing too much. This is February, the month of love I believe. So I will share a little something since romance will be the main agenda for some this month. How to choose a wife. You can see that I didn't add "good." It is because I know if she has all the qualities that I'll share, then she is good already — perfect even. This little something is based on framework, core research and learning not just fantasy. God will not choose your wife for you, he can only guide you and these are some important pointers you must look for;  1. In character and temperament. She must be emotionally regulated under stress. She should disagree with y...

Last night, my childhood friend Dre and I had one of those conversations that only happen when the world slows down. We was high like a motherfucker — no point pretending otherwise — but beyond the euphoria, something cut through the fog with surgical precision. Clarity. Not the loud kind. The quiet, undeniable kind that sits in your chest and refuses to leave. I had to write about it. My fellow lost ones, in life, clarity matters. The ability to know what to do, when to do it, how to do it, and where to do it cannot be overemphasized. Many people are busy. Many are talented. Many are hardworking. Yet few are clear. And clarity is the difference between motion and progress. Take Stephen Curry. Anywhere on the court, the shot looks effortless. Yes, he started young. Yes, his father played in the NBA. But beyond practice and privilege, there is something deeper at work. Watch him play and you know — this is alignment. This is a man doing what he was meant to do on this earth....

One item on my daily to-do list is that I learn something new everyday. It doesn't matter what it is or the field of concentration. I just learn and this is what I've learnt today — The Pygmalion Effect.  The Pygmalion Effect is a quiet force, frequently unseen but it is one of the most powerful forces shaping human lives and realities. At its core, it is the idea that what people expect of us —spoken or unspoken — has a way of becoming our reality. When someone believes deeply that you are capable, intelligent, or destined for growth, you often rise to meet that belief. When they doubt you, consciously or subtly, you shrink to fit that doubt. In simple terms: expectations create performance. The name comes from Greek mythology. Pygmalion was a sculptor who fell in love with a statue he carved, and because he believed in it so completely, the statue came to life. Modern psychology uses this story to explain a very human truth: belief, when sustained, has the power t...

Someone reached out to me. She asked — "Dibango, should I forgive my cheating boyfriend?" I told her. I am honestly not the person to come to for such advice. For I too had this character flaw in the past. I have since learnt that what you don’t want done to you, don’t do such to others. So I asked her, in truth and all sincerity to tell me what happened. People cheat for fun, true. But sometimes, it's just a reaction to an action. What were his core values? Because before you began dating, I believed you assessed and confirmed he was a person of good character, morals and high standards — so if he suddenly cheated now. Something happened. For character is like a flame, no matter how you cover it — it finds a way to show forth. In the dating pool nowadays, there is a lot of loops. I don't know why it is like that but it has always been so for some time now. A part of what I mean is the fact that sometimes who you like will not like you and the person that ...

I want every version of myself. Not just the polished and well articulated one people like. Not just the calm one that knows what to say. I want the messy one too — the one that gets confused, the one that feels too much, the one that doesn’t always have answers. The one that makes mistakes. It is very tiring pretending to be only one thing. I am not just strong. I am not just soft. I am not just confident or broken. I am all of it. Some days I wake up feeling like I can take on the world. Other days, even tying my shoes feels like work. And both days are real. Both days are me. For the longest of time, I tried to hide the parts of myself that didn’t look good. I hid my fear. I hid my jealousy. I hid how deeply I feel things. I thought if people saw those sides, they would leave. So I learned how to smile when I was hurting. I learned how to act okay when I wasn’t. But carrying that every day is heavy. Pretending is exhausting. I want the version of me that dreams big and t...

I have thought about committing suicide 87 times throughout my lifetime so far. Don't pity me, that was when I didn't understand suffering. Alan Watts said and I quote  "Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun." The core idea is that suffering arises from taking life too seriously; liberation comes from a lighter, more playful perspective. That's when you truly become free. How do you not commit suicide then?, one might ask. Walk with me.  The trick is to live with utter despair without utterly despairing. Life itself is a mystery. You can't understand it, so don't even try. Because why will life for instance, give a person good money but cautions it with sickness. And a poor man is just strong and agile yet no money not because he is lazy or whatever but life just decides to fuck him up. People will betray you. Hurt you. Use you. Not because they intend too but because it's just human nature. Marcus Aurelius...